Tag Archives: relationships

Watch & Download Movie The Boss Baby (2017)

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Quality: HD
Title : The Boss Baby
Director : Tom McGrath.
Release : 2017-03-23
Language : English.
Runtime : 73 min.
Genre : Animation, Comedy, Family.
Stars : Alec Baldwin, Steve Buscemi, Lisa Kudrow, Jimmy Kimmel, Tobey Maguire, Vivi Ann Yee.

‘The Boss Baby’ is a movie genre Animation, was released in March 23, 2017. Tom McGrath was directed this movie and starring by Alec Baldwin. This movie tell story about A story about how a new baby’s arrival impacts a family, told from the point of view of a delightfully unreliable narrator, a wildly imaginative 7 year old named Tim.

A story about how a new baby’s arrival impacts a family, told from the point of view of a delightfully unreliable narrator, a wildly imaginative 7 year old named Tim.

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Advice for single people to do what’s right for them

I can’t really think of a good title for this one, and I don’t want to just rip off the title of the original. It comes from HuffPo writer Susan Rosenzweig, “3 Lies And 1 Truth About Why You’re Really Still Single”.

Being single isn’t inherently a bad thing. However, there is a lot of social pressure on people who are single, and to be “OK” with that state of being almost seems insane to most people. Why would you want to be… alone? Sure, companionship and affection are great, no argument there. But the amount that society pushes us to pair up, for the weaker willed or weaker of personal conviction, can potentially push us into relationships we don’t actually want or are not actually happy in, just for the sake of “not being alone”.

For the people who feel overly pressured, I like to share articles like this one here to help you find the right answer or counter-argument or reason to justify what you want, whether that involves being single or not. My family pressures me, and I mostly ignore them.

So, what are the marvelous points that this article makes?

Lie #1 – “There are no good men/women left”. Statistically and demonstrably false. As patronizing as “you just need to get out there more” can be, there’s some truth to that. Sure, there’s online dating, but if you’ve got the social skills to woo people in person, I personally believe you’re far better off. A glowing personality can win over people who were unimpressed with you on paper (that seems to be my problem). But for those who aren’t as comfortable socially, I think there are more people than ever doing online dating.
From the article:

Are there lying men and women out there, just trying to get into your pants or wallet? Absolutely. But there are also a whole bunch of nice alternatives that are looking for you.

Lie #2 – “You’re too picky”. This one hits really close to home, it’s something I’ve fought against for years and have made progress, but I’ve definitely got so called “high standards”. That includes for myself though, which is part of when led me to push myself to improve my social skills, hit the gym and be proactive about doing the things I want in life, with or without company. I’m building the life I want to live, to hopefully attract someone with similar goals, values and interests. The problem isn’t necessarily pickiness, but moreso what you are picky about. That’s why it’s usually more successful to pair up based on mutual goals and values, than purely based on what you’re physically attracted to. From the article:

Here’s the thing about this one: I don’t think anyone really chooses who they fall for. You can tell yourself that you need a guy who is six feet tall, devastatingly handsome and drives a Porsche all you want. Then one day, you find yourself head over heels for the 5’8″ balding but oh-so-charming bartender at your favorite restaurant. Think Charlotte and Harry in “Sex and the City.” You can’t help it — it just happens.

I would not have agreed with this when I was younger, but I do now. I’ve found myself really drawn to women who weren’t my usual type, because they were an absolute delight to be around. And that’s again part of why I say, if you’ve got the social skills – use them. Someone can be “devastatingly gorgeous” but if I can’t talk to them or we don’t have values/goals in common, it’s not going to last.

Lie #3 – “You haven’t made it a priority”. While the author of the article pretty much completely rails against this notion, I do believe there is some truth to it. I feel this way off and on, where I’m just so focused on achieving personal goals and trying not to burn myself out, that the last thing I am thinking about is meeting someone. That is a sharp contrast to how I was even just 5 years ago, where I spent considerable time on dating sites and craigslist trying to meet someone. It was the only thing I felt was missing from my life. Now my life is quite fulfilling, and I’m more leery of bringing someone into it who might not understand or respect the balance I want to maintain. But I guess what the author is actually getting at is that if you are looking, that you could always be “looking harder”. Our friends and family can mean well but some people just get lucky and find what they’re looking for with a short search. I do envy those people who found their partner early in life. Susan writes:

There is nothing I cannot accomplish if I set my mind to it. Overcome an eating disorder, check. Move to NYC, check. Get my first job in advertising at a global agency, check. Compete in ballroom dancing, volunteer, become a creative director, write a blog for Huffington Post? All within my control. But love — love is not.

Notice I said love, not just get married or have kids. I have the audacity to want real love, great love. Or nothing at all.

And there’s another great distinction. I also totally agree with her on this:

A real connection is beyond rare. And if you know (or even just long for) what that feels like, it’s impossible to settle for less.

All I’m saying is, finding real love is hard enough without the voices within and without that make it worse. It happens when it’s meant to happen.

You have to do what is right for you, in the end, no matter how hard it is. It’s a fight we all fight every day, and again, that’s why I like sharing these sorts of things, they give me great perspective and help me keep “the voices without” at bay. I think I’ve gotten pretty good at listening to the voices within.

Hope that helps you. I don’t remember to say this enough on here, but I’d love to hear your thoughts on this one readers. We can learn from each other’s experiences 🙂

Vice – Making Peace with Porn

Here’s one I picked up from a facebook group I’m part of, from Vice – “Ladies, stop taking his porn personally”. It was interesting to read and I thought might help alleviate some tensions with some of the couples out there. Author Allison Vivas talks about the concept covered in her book “Making Peace with Porn”.

Here’s an excerpt from the article:

VICE: What inspired you to write a book to help women understand porn?
Allison Vivas:
A lot of the book is about my own personal experience. I definitely wasn’t pro-porn when I started working at the company. In fact, I had my own personal issues with it, but I learned there aren’t many guys out there who aren’t looking at it. After I saw the numbers and the data coming in, a lot of the misconceptions that I had about the porn industry and taking advantage of women, has subsided through my experience in the industry. More so, I got insight on why men are looking at porn. A lot of women like to think that they look at porn because they want their wife or girlfriend to have bleach blonde hair and big boobs and do all of these things in the videos. You have to realize too, that’s not why men look at porn. It is just entertainment.

So women should just think of it as watching a drama or something?
When it comes to all other forms of entertainment, people are able to distinguish between reality and fantasy. But all of a sudden, when it comes to porn, we have these fears that it’s really going to play into reality. I think there are a lot of women, especially in my generation, who didn’t grow up with the internet. All of these statistics about porn viewing give us the perception that our perfect man doesn’t look at porn, but that is not the reality.

You may agree, you may not. Either way, it’s a conversation worth having.

Why you should choose your words carefully

Solid article called “On Labelling Woman ‘Crazy'” over on HuffPo (found separately from their Good News section) about how and why many men are quick to call women “crazy” to dismiss their opinions, ideas and concerns.

One interesting historical bit that I picked up from this article that I wanted to point out is:

The word “hysteria” — defined as “behavior exhibiting excessive or uncontrollable emotion, such as fear or panic” — is derived from the ancient Greek word “hystera,” meaning uterus. Until the early 20th century, female hysteria was the official medical diagnosis for a truly massive array of symptoms in women including but not limited to: loss of appetite, nervousness, irritability, fluid retention, emotional excitability, outbursts of negativity, excessive sexual desire and “a tendency to cause trouble.”

(Worth noting: much of the blame for “female hysteria” was placed on “wandering uterus syndrome” or other sexual “dysfunctions.” While this did eventually lead to the invention of the vibrator, one of the common cures was a clitorectomy.)

While some of the symptoms of “female hysteria” could be signs of legitimate (if misdiagnosed) mental health issues, most of it described male (as the medical field was a men-only profession up until the mid-19th century) discomfort with women’s behavior and sexuality. Calling it a medical issue meant that men didn’t have to respond to behavior that challenged male sensibilities or belief structures. Instead, labeling women as “hysterical” made it much easier to diminish women’s concerns and issues without having to pause to consider them as possibly being valid.

Certainly makes me think twice about dismissing anyone, let alone a woman, as “crazy”.

Check out the rest of the article for some more things to ponder.

You don’t have to be an expert to give good advice

You just have to pay attention.

This is a long post (that I originally wrote over on Medium) about human relations, self awareness, pickiness, perspective and ultimately learning to let go. From the ground level, and from a single guy.

It contains 4 parts:
Part 1 – Craigslist personals and online dating
Part 2 – No experience, or no perspective?
Part 3 – Growing up, learning a better way, and breaking down your picky mental barriers
Part 4 – Let the right one in (aka “you know you’ve learned the lesson when you can teach it to someone else”)

Head over to medium to read it, then let me know what you think in the comments.

“It may not be the sex life you want, but it’s the one you deserve”

I just found this video from Sexual Empowerment Coach Heather, and it made me think, so I’m sharing it here. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the idea of personal responsibility, and this falls into that category.

Heather talks about how some people will say they want something in their lives to be better (such as their sex life), but they don’t do anything to actually make that happen, they just want someone to give them the answer.

To relate this to my own life from a slightly different perspective, I am currently single, and I have been for a while. While I would like to have a romantic partner, I’ve done a lot of soul searching and asked myself some tough questions.

I’ve ultimately determined that when weighing time spent actively seeking a partner vs time spent engaging in hobbies or personal projects (like this website and the podcast that I produce), I place more value and self-fulfillment in the hobbies and projects than in seeking a partner. Also, the time investment in hobbies and projects tends to be one where I generally know what to expect for energy ROI. As some of you probably know, you can go on several dates that don’t lead anywhere, but if I spend time on a project that can arguably live on forever and influence or interface with countless people around the world, it seems like a no brainer.

That’s not to say I don’t feel lonely sometimes, and like I said, I would like to have a romantic partner in life, but I made the value decision and until I meet someone who proves to be “worth it”, this is where I choose to spend my energy. I am keeping one eye open for “Miss Right” though, I’m just doing a casual background scan rather than ignoring everything else until I find her. It would be a shame if I did that and never did find her. I might just be lonely and unaccomplished. So the safer bet (for me) is projects first.

I have seen people choose to devote most of their time and energy to relationships, and that’s no more or less valid than what I’m doing, just a different choice. My sister has chosen to go the family route and have children, and I’m thinking that I may not make the same choice. But being able to weigh your options and decide and be at peace with that, is an invaluable skill as a human.

The importance of perspective (experience vs observation)

Over the weekend a friend of mine alerted me to something she found in an OKCupid profile. One of the (many) questions the site uses to match you with potential mates, is “would you consider dating someone who hasn’t been in a relationship?”.

She found a guy who had answered “No, at this point my peers have been in a relationship, I’m not interested in coaching a newbie”.

I was taken aback by this response, which seemed short sighted and selfish to me. So I ran it by some other friends, and was kind of surprised by their responses, which largely agreed with him.

BUT, the interesting thing that I think is missing both in his response and in theirs, is perspective. Why? Well, on one hand yes – having a lack of experience can be problematic, but only if the person in question hasn’t learned anything on their own.

To tell you the truth, I have very limited “formal experience” in dating. But I know that I’m capable of it, for the same reason that I know that there are people who have lived twice as long as me, but are less mature – because I observe and I learn from the world around me, not everyone does. Same as you don’t have to go to college to be able to work or start a business. There isn’t only ONE way to learn.

So, my stance is, if I meet someone and I like them and they tell me they haven’t been in a relationship before, there are other questions I can ask (much like they ask you in a job interview) to find out if they understand the key concepts and best practices regardless.

My parents are divorced, both have remarried but one runs a healthy, communicative relationship, and the other just yells at and argues with their spouse all the time. From that alone, I have learned healthy and unhealthy relationship behaviour, even without being in one myself. Of course if both my parents were in the latter kind of relationship now, I would lack the perspective that there is a ‘better way’.

So I think this person’s answer to me speaks more of impatience and is short sighted in that it ignores this fact. While there are absolutely some things you can only learn how to deal with in the context of a relationship, most of what you need is just human relations 101 and some decent self-awareness. At least, that’s my bullsh$% opinion.

What do you think? Agree or disagree?

From the Reddit Files – Reality TV Relationships

I was reading reddit last night (good ol’ Today I Learned section), and found an interesting one:

“None of The Bachelor winning couples (over 16 seasons) have remained married”

The comments ranged from the predictable to the genuinely thoughtful. Oh, and this is interesting:

Jason, the guy from Kirkland WA, married the girl he chose from the show. She wasn’t the technical winner, because he decided he wanted the runner up instead, after the final show aired. He broke up with her at the follow-up ceremony thing, and got back together with number 2 girl, Molly. They are now married and have a kid together.

Sort of a silver lining? And also technically a happy ending.

What was also interesting that popped up in the comments, was that more “lasting relationships” have resulted from The Biggest Loser, than from either The Bachelor/Bachelorette.

Take from that what you will.

So, what’s the deal with Polyamory?

I like to have discussions – about real topics and issues. I like to get past stereotypes, myths and stigmas as much as possible, to take a critical but fair look at things and try to move the issue forward in a positive way.

Earlier this week I went to a discussion group about polyamory (hosted by Toronto based organization “I’d Tap That”, a sex-positive resource for young people). I am not currently poly, nor am I sure it is right for me, but I am curious and trying to gain a better understanding (pro tip – don’t rely on popular media for this). I wanted to learn more about it from people who are more experienced and knowledgeable. I happen to have a few friends who are poly and they were hosting so I attended. In this post, I will share what I learned and what insights I gained. Spoiler alert – more universal life lessons in this one!

This one is long, so buckle up!

Continue reading

More great life advice in a handy list

Over at The Good Men Project, Alyssa Royse has compiled a list called “The 10 Absolute Truths Behind What Real Women Want”, though to be fair, most of the list applies both ways (that is to say, it’s pretty universally good advice).

Here are a few tidbits:

2. We want you to know that we are not all the same. There is no one thing that we all want. Some of us want romantic gestures, some of us think those are a silly waste of resources. Some of us are great at talking about our feelings, some of us are terrified by the prospect of having to do so. There is no one standard set of things that works for “real women” [Adam’s note: “real PEOPLE” works too] any more than there is one standard way to cook beef. Continue reading